300: Rise of an Empire (The Ultimate Guys Movie)

ImageUltimate Guys Movie Check-list

-An almost impossible and excessive amount of brutal gore and violence

-Inspiring speeches that would convince anyone to do a suicidal charge into battle

-Slow-mo “finishing moves” & battle executions

-Hot women

-Hot naked women

-Opposing factions

-Memorable sex scene

300: The Rise of Empire had all of the above (especially #7 which we will touch upon) in that list I just made up right now. In addition, even though it says Noam Murro directed the film this time around, it still has Zack Snyder’s trademarks splattered all over the screen.

The film I must say wasn’t amazing and when compared to the original I have to say I do miss Gerard Butler. With that said, the film in its own right in terms of its new main characters was enjoyable. Eva Green stole the show in my opinion; she practically seduced the audience for lack of a better word. I would say that this sequel was “not bad” in terms of expectations considering it’s been 7 years since we heard the infamous battle cry of “This….IS….Sparta!”

“Master of his domain” Themiskoles is the male equivalent of a tease.

If you are not familiar with the story line essentially this sequel is about the Greek General Themiskoles (Sullivan Stapleton), leading the attack against the Persian forces which are led by Artemisia (Eva Green) and Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) who are mortals-turned-gods.

The film is your typical trope of the fight between two forces, but in a movie like this, not everyone is bothered by the story-line.

The gist of the film plays out like the first 300 on water, as Themiskoles assembles a small but determined fleet to take on the larger, albeit, superior naval Persian fleet with side trips to keep the Greek city-states untied, convince the politically ambivalent Spartans and their oiled six-pack abs to stay and fight that somehow devolves into one of the strangest rough sex scenes ever filmed.

The High’s

Eva Green’s portrayal of Artemisia, the erotic and sultry adviser of Xerxes is probably one of the few things which will impress the viewer.

I would be pissed off too if I had just been “half-banged”

If you are not familiar with some of Eva Green’s work she is best known for her un-shy nature and her willingness to do “unusual” sex scenes, and also manages to take her top off in a lot of films( This film had both of course).

The memorable sex scene (without spoiling it) can only be described by me as a type of coital combat (battle sex?). You have to see it to understand, trust me.

The Lows (?)

There are really no true “Lows” in this film if we take it for what it is: pure entertainment geared towards anyone with two spheres and a hanging appendage between the legs.

The following is my counter to some of the other critics via brackets and point blank thoughts.

The Washington Post critic Ann Hornaday finds “no fun” in the movie (Well no shit you didn’t). She does not find the movie “family-friendly” (It’s not supposed to be fun for the whole family) with its “gloppy bloodletting” and near-pervert sexuality (I’d like to think memorable is a better word) which includes a sex scene when a major character has sex with one disembodied head (Not true, it was a kiss= no sex).

According to Mark Kermode, The Guardian movie critic, the sequel even lacks the “visual wit”(arguable) of the earlier movie as well even though some critics find the visuals “sincere”(Now you are grabbing for straws buddy) enough.

So the question on your mind is probably “Is it worth seeing in the theatre”?

My answer: Go with a large group of you’re guy friends, have some drinks before hand, and it will be. The laughs and jokes will come naturally as they always do.

Note: If you are a fan of the 300 series I would recommend you check out the Spartacus TV series (especially Blood and Sand)


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